When it went wrong…and what we learnt: team

In any human enterprise it is inevitable that at times things will go wrong and Missional Communities are no exception. Sometimes these are major events that lead to the breakup of a community, but more often they are ‘little local difficulties’ that cause the leadership a time of concern. Handled properly they don’t have any long term negative effects on the community. Rather, in my experience, they lead to the strengthening of the group and enable growth to happen.

In our early days of establishing a Missional Community we had an occasion when our carefully made and agreed plans for the evening were turned upside down. One of the members of the leadership team, without any warning, introduced an entirely random activity to the group. Not only did it catch us unawares but it didn’t fit into anything we had agreed and prepared. Although it meant lots of instant re-arranging we got through the evening.

As can be imagined, some of the leadership team found this easier to deal with than others. We had to face the fact that we had a ‘loose cannon’ on the team and that we were going to have to find a way of dealing with it. So what did we learn from this?

Allow space for the unexpected. Spontaneity is important. In this instance it wasn’t, but for us as leaders we saw the need to be open and relaxed.

Low control is good but High Accountability is equally important.

Accountability is vital. When we discussed the whole thing as a team we each came to see that we all had to learn this. In this particular instance it was the one person going against what had been agreed without reference to anyone else that caused the problem. There had been discussion and agreement but it was obvious that there wasn’t at this stage an understanding of mutual accountability. We all saw that it was possible for any one of us to act in the same way.

Open and honest conversation is a vital part of being a team. It would have been easy to insist that we always stuck to the agreed programme and challenge the person about their behaviour. However we chose to have an open discussion and see what emerged. As we discussed the evening and its events everyone came to understand that this was a learning opportunity for all.

It was a Kairos moment for the Missional Community and its leadership team. We were able to put into practice all aspects of the Learning Circle*. We all learned and the team was strengthened. Over time it allowed for deeper discussion about the vision of the Community and how each of us related to it. This in turn led to the positive and creative multiplication into 3 new Missional Communities.

There are plenty of other things we learnt out of this one evening but above all we realised that we not only loved one another but that we really liked each other and could work together.


David Rosser lives in Durham with his wife Jenny. They have been involved in the establishing and development of Missional Communities for the past 10 years.

* For more on Lifeshapes go to www.weare3dm.com

How to…inspire your leaders

 

In another post in our How to… series, Jenny Irvine gives us a few pointers in inspiring our leaders to keep going.

 

Where are your leaders stuck?

Do your leaders have aspiration?  Are they seeing these dreams worked out in the fabric of their lives?  Is the reality transformation of communities?  How do we help create environments that will allow the leaders around us to thrive?  Today I suggest three areas to reflect on how we can help leaders to see, to walk, and to keep moving.

 

SEEING

What would expand the horizons of these leaders?  It might be seeing some aspect of your life and ministry.  Are you going to visit another church, another city or another country and if so why not think about taking some other leaders with you.   If leaders cannot see that the future can be different from the present reality then which places would help them to see in action something that will inspire them?

If leaders lack aspiration – reflect on what environments you can expose them to that will spark their imaginations

 

WALKING

To invest in other leaders you need to be willing to help them in their God-given aspirations.  Leaders who are not seeing their dreams become reality may be stuck in knowing what the stepping stones are.  Make space to listen to their aspirations and reflect on whether you have anything to offer.

If reality is lacking among leaders with big dreams – reflect on how you can make space to listen to what they see and process together what the steps might be.

 

KEEPING MOVING

Maybe leaders are telling exciting stories, but are stuck at moving beyond the intial breakthroughs into lasting community change.  For leaders to keep going they need people to talk to along the way when the going gets tough.  This conversation needs to begin before the points of burn out and giving up.

If perseverance is lacking – reflect on how you will notice when leaders are feeling the strain.

 

 

Jenny Irvine

We’re Gareth & Jenny Irvine, and in 2012 we will be planting a new missional community base called Saint Aidan’s in the north of the city of Coventry.  We’re taking a small team of young adults with us, to live as in incarnational community focused around prayer and mission.  We’re currently involved in Kidz Klub which works with children from challenging housing estates, and visit about 30 families each week on the estate where we’ll be be moving in July.

Upcoming Events in the Missional Communities & 3DM UK Network

 

If you haven’t checked recently then do take a wander over to the Events page of this site.

It has just been updated with a bunch of workshops, taster days and events that are coming up in the next few months in the UK and Holland.  We would love to see you at one (or more!) of them.

You can find details of Missional Communities Workshops, Learning Community Taster Days and events that Mike Breen will be at over the next couple of months so get your diary out and get yourself and others from your churches & networks booked in!

You can download a flyer with information about all events here.

For more information about any of the events, or to book, please email admin@3dmuk.com or ring 0114 241 9562.

We hope to see you soon!

Missional Communities Round-up

 

We thought this week we would do a bit of a round-up of various things happening in the Missional Communities movement right now.  Here goes!

3dmUK are busy with another Learning Community in Sheffield this week, the last one in the 2-year cycle for the 500+ churches.  This has been a great Learning Community with lots of people really seeing God breakthrough in new ways in churches right the way from Bournemouth to East Kent to Leicester, Liverpool and Edinburgh!  If you want to find out more about Learning Communities then click here.

 

 

If you haven’t already seen it the 3dm HQ in the US has re-launched their website.  It is full of resources, blogs and reflections on what it means  to be missional disciples and churches in our world today. Their current promo carries the tagline ‘Keep Calm & Disciple On’.

 

 

We know you’re a fan of the Missional Communities Blog, but did you know that the 3dmUK also write a blog for leaders?  Their latest posts have been reflecting on the journey of discipleship and what that looks like, especially about the times when it can feel really discouraging.

“…the process of stepping out requires us to live uncomfortably, to stretch ourselves, and often to experience misunderstanding from others. This process happens personally for us as leaders, but is also something experienced by the congregation. But take a look through the gospels…. doesn’t this sound familiar? Isn’t this precisely the place we often find the disciples?”

To read more head over to the blog here.

Finally, a story about getting started from a new Missional Community based in Deal, Kent.

I lead an MC with my husband called Imagine. We are a community of young adults seeking to share our lives together throughout the week, encourage each other to go deeper in our walks with God and reach out together to other young adults in our town. We have spent time helping one person with her regular craft fairs, another couple with the youth work they are involved in; we have done prayer walks and times of extended worship together, we have eaten together a fair amount and sought to bring those on the fringes of church into our community.

In the next few months we are looking to find the places where young adults hang out in our town (sports clubs, music groups etc) and go and join in. We hope to be able to run some faith-based discussion groups or an Alpha course for young adults. We love bringing people together in a community like this because it is just the right size to be able to get things done together, but not so big that we can’t know each other really well.  We are a fairly young community but we are really excited about all that God is going to do with us and through us over the coming months!

That’s all for this post!  We pray for God’s blessing on you as you seek to reach out to others with His love!

Real Life Discipleship…Repent & Believe!

 

Today I want to think about how you know if someone is actually being discipled.

What’s the key ingredient?

To help with this, I wanted to share a little example of somebody who doesn’t yet know Jesus – but in my opinion has started to be discipled by Him. He is what I would describe as a long term person of peace: He welcomes me, serves me and is often interested in discussing the spiritual aspects or “deeper meaning” of life.

The cornerstone of Jesus’ message to his disciples was “The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent (change your way of thinking) and Believe (step out and change your behaviour according to how you now think)” (Mark 1:15). [For more on Lifeshapes go to weare3dm.com]

I think if we can see this process at work in someone, then they are being discipled.  

I was sat with this friend of mine a few months ago having dinner to celebrate moving in to his new house. We got into a long conversation about our experiences of the third world – particularly Africa. We started discussing how different life can seem once you have seen and experienced real poverty and desperation. As I sat there in his lovely new house in the suburbs, listening to him speak, I became aware of how racked with guilt he was about his life; the amount of money, possessions and opportunity he has. He has done lots of “good deeds” and charitable work over the years, but one of the primary motivators has been guilt. We got to talking about God’s perspective on blessing and how rather than helping others out of guilt, we can actually do it from a place of being thankful for what we have. I shared how this for me has been a far more powerful motivator to do good to others.

As if rocked by some shocking news (!), he stared at me and replied “I don’t know why, but I have never thought that way about it before…..that’s a completely different way to see things.”

Doesn’t this sound similar to Jesus’ first instruction to change our way of thinking?

My friend came and found me a week or two later and shared with me that not only had he begun to think differently, but he had felt stirred to get in touch with a close relative living abroad in a developing country. He had written this relative a letter explaining his experience and how he should also become more motivated by thankfulness!

As far as I am concerned, this is the behaviour Jesus was looking for in those who would “believe”. Not just believe intellectually with their heads, but with their actions too.

We ended this particular conversation with him reflecting; “I suppose the only problem now is I need to work out who I am thankful to….” So, there is still a way to go in his particular journey, but this little step felt like a significant one.

Real life discipleship has to be incredibly simple – Repent and Believe. Anything more complicated than that probably won’t work and probably isn’t biblical! Jesus started with a ragged group of fishermen and tax collectors who at first didn’t even really know who he was, but through the process of discipleship they ended up birthing the greatest movement the world has ever seen. That’s a good enough endorsement for me!

What about you?

  • How are you being discipled by Jesus at the moment?
  • Who are you helping Him to disciple?
  • Has this discipleship become too complicated or is it real life?

 

Simon Ford lives in Sheffield, is part of the King’s Centre Church and works for 3dm UK. He has been part of and led various young adult and workplace-focussed missional communities over the last 9 years.

 

 

Image: ntwowe / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Community Values…Internationals

 

Each Missional Community should share in the core values held by the whole church of which it is a part, but each MC also has its own distinct values which shape its identity more specifically. They could be things like a focus on releasing the prophetic, a passion for welcome and hospitality, creativity, or intergenerational involvement – to name but a few.

Whatever we value will always drive and motivate everything else we do. Hence the saying ‘We do what we value, and value what we do.’  One of the topics we have asked our writers to blog about is on giving some examples of the values of  the MC they lead, and what they look like in practice.  Today, Pip Martin on MCs for Internationals.

I’ve been part of and led several Missional Communities for international students, each with a slightly different focus. They’ve all had similar visions and values, lived out in different ways.

One of the common values was a desire to honour the different cultures that people came from. It’s easy to feel disconnected from home when you’re in another country. You’re surrounded by people who don’t know anything about what it’s like to live in Spain, or Zimbabwe, or India, and a lot of them don’t really care to find out. We made a point of getting to know some of the home cultures of people in our community and made sure we celebrated them too. We did this in a few simple ways:

We asked questions. How would you celebrate your birthday at home? Do you do anything for Christmas? What? What food do you miss most? What kind of house did you live in? Once, our meeting fell on the day before Halloween, which led to a great conversation about a South Korean Harvest Festival and Day of the Dead in Mexico.

We ate together. Often this went hand in hand with a celebration and we always asked about the story behind what we were eating, whether it was birthday cake, a big Colombian feast, German Christmas treats or simply the soup someone’s grandma always made.

We prayed. If there was something going on in someone’s life back home (Dad having an operation, sister looking for a job, presidential elections etc) we prayed. Not everyone was comfortable with being prayed for there and then but we would make sure to pray about it as team. One of the Missional Communities asked a different person each month to tell everyone a little bit about their country, including anything they’d like prayer for and then the whole group prayed for Colombia or the USA or wherever.

I loved being part of these Missional Communities – I learned so much about different countries (and enjoyed lots of yummy food!) and I hope we helped some international students feel known and welcomed in Sheffield.

Have you done anything similar? Do you have any ideas for other ways to do this?

 

Pip Martin lives in Sheffield and works for 3dm UK as Operations Manager. She has led several Missional Communities with a heart for internationals.